Official Raccoon Im Not Cranky Im Just Seventy And Fluent In Sarcasm Shirt
The doorbell rang, signaling my pizza had arrived. I opened the door, already drooling, only to find a flustered woman holding two pizzas and looking mortified. “Oh my god, I am SO sorry! I completely mixed up the addresses. This is for… the party with the raccoon shirt?”
My eyes widened. My “Official Raccoon I’m Not Cranky, I’m Just Seventy and Fluent in Sarcasm” shirt. It was my lounging-around-the-house attire. “That’s…me,” I admitted, cheeks burning.
Her relief was palpable. “Thank goodness! I was picturing a wild animal situation. My grandpa would love this shirt, by the way.” She handed me the pizzas. “Enjoy! And again, so sorry!”
As she scurried away, I chuckled. My sarcastic raccoon shirt, the unsung hero of pizza delivery mishaps. Who knew it would be my identifying mark?
EXPRESS DELIVERY
We have express delivery method, however to ensure accurate delivery time we only support customers who contact us before ordering. And if you have any questions please let us know by emailing us at [email protected]
T-SHIRT
- 100% Cotton
- Made in the USA and Imported
- Pull On closure
- Machine Wash
- Material – 100% cotton dad tshirts for men.
- Available Sizes: S, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL, 4XL.
The graphic print in our shirts are printed in the USA; with using fine quality fade resistant inks and latest printing techniques that ensure a long-lasting and vibrant finish. We include everyone! Please check our size chart image to find the best fit for you and your loved ones. Note: Design may look smaller in bigger sizes.
SWEATSHIRT
- 8 oz./yd² (US) 13.3 oz./L yd (CA), 50/50 cotton/polyester
- Heather Sport colors: 60/40 polyester/cotton
- Safety Green: Compliant with ANSI / ISEA 107
- Classic fit
- Air jet yarn for softer feel and reduced pilling
- Double-needle stitching at shoulders, armholes, neck, waistband and cuffs
- 1×1 rib with spandex for enhanced stretch and recovery
- Tear away label
WHY CHOOSE US?
We believe in making a t-shirt you actually want to wear. We do not sell cheap scratchy tees here. You’ll notice the quality right when you put it on.
Some more important facts about us:
- Our tees are high quality and made to fit right. They are slightly fitted so you don’t look like you’ve put a dress on












