Local Asshole Ornaments Shirts
The sun was blazing, the waves were crashing, and I was living my best life in my “Local Asshole Ornaments” shirt. It was a hit, naturally. I’d just finished building a sandcastle worthy of royalty (if royalty liked slightly lopsided structures) when disaster struck. A rogue wave, fueled by the mischievous sea gods, surged forward, drenching me and my masterpiece.
Now, my shirt was plastered to my chest, showcasing the tiny, judgmental ornament faces in excruciating detail. But worse, sand. Sand was everywhere. Sand clinging to the intricate ornament design, turning my proclamation of local assholery into a gritty, vaguely obscene texture. I looked like I’d wrestled a beach and lost. The only thing left to do was laugh, brush myself off, and hope no one recognized me. Maybe I should have worn a plain white tee after all.
EXPRESS DELIVERY
We have express delivery method, however to ensure accurate delivery time we only support customers who contact us before ordering. And if you have any questions please let us know by emailing us at [email protected]
T-SHIRT
- 100% Cotton
- Made in the USA and Imported
- Pull On closure
- Machine Wash
- Material – 100% cotton dad tshirts for men.
- Available Sizes: S, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL, 4XL.
The graphic print in our shirts are printed in the USA; with using fine quality fade resistant inks and latest printing techniques that ensure a long-lasting and vibrant finish. We include everyone! Please check our size chart image to find the best fit for you and your loved ones. Note: Design may look smaller in bigger sizes.
SWEATSHIRT
- 8 oz./yd² (US) 13.3 oz./L yd (CA), 50/50 cotton/polyester
- Heather Sport colors: 60/40 polyester/cotton
- Safety Green: Compliant with ANSI / ISEA 107
- Classic fit
- Air jet yarn for softer feel and reduced pilling
- Double-needle stitching at shoulders, armholes, neck, waistband and cuffs
- 1×1 rib with spandex for enhanced stretch and recovery
- Tear away label
WHY CHOOSE US?
We believe in making a t-shirt you actually want to wear. We do not sell cheap scratchy tees here. You’ll notice the quality right when you put it on.
Some more important facts about us:
- Our tees are high quality and made to fit right. They are slightly fitted so you don’t look like you’ve put a dress on












