Sperm Beer This Is The First Picture Of Me Classic Shirts
The sun was blazing, the waves were crashing, and I was finally relaxing on my beach towel. I’d even cracked open a cold one. Life was good. Maybe too good. A rogue gust of wind whipped a cloud of sand right at me, coating everything, including my, uh, *unique* t-shirt. Now, the already questionable phrase “Sperm Beer This Is The First Picture Of Me Classic Shirts” was practically illegible under a gritty layer of sand.
I tried brushing it off, but only succeeded in smearing it further. A family walked by, the kids pointing and giggling. I could practically hear their parents trying to explain what my shirt *didn’t* say. Mortified, I grabbed my towel, wrapped it around myself like a cocoon, and made a beeline for the car, leaving behind my sandy beer and a lingering sense of public humiliation. Beach days, man. You win some, you lose some, and sometimes you just get sandblasted into awkwardness.
EXPRESS DELIVERY
We have express delivery method, however to ensure accurate delivery time we only support customers who contact us before ordering. And if you have any questions please let us know by emailing us at [email protected]
T-SHIRT
- 100% Cotton
- Made in the USA and Imported
- Pull On closure
- Machine Wash
- Material – 100% cotton dad tshirts for men.
- Available Sizes: S, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL, 4XL.
The graphic print in our shirts are printed in the USA; with using fine quality fade resistant inks and latest printing techniques that ensure a long-lasting and vibrant finish. We include everyone! Please check our size chart image to find the best fit for you and your loved ones. Note: Design may look smaller in bigger sizes.
SWEATSHIRT
- 8 oz./yd² (US) 13.3 oz./L yd (CA), 50/50 cotton/polyester
- Heather Sport colors: 60/40 polyester/cotton
- Safety Green: Compliant with ANSI / ISEA 107
- Classic fit
- Air jet yarn for softer feel and reduced pilling
- Double-needle stitching at shoulders, armholes, neck, waistband and cuffs
- 1×1 rib with spandex for enhanced stretch and recovery
- Tear away label
WHY CHOOSE US?
We believe in making a t-shirt you actually want to wear. We do not sell cheap scratchy tees here. You’ll notice the quality right when you put it on.
Some more important facts about us:
- Our tees are high quality and made to fit right. They are slightly fitted so you don’t look like you’ve put a dress on












