The Onion Americas Finest News Source Since 1988 Shirts
$20.99
Size Guide
How to measure your shirt correctly?
Width: Lay the shirt flat on the ground (preferably a hard surface) and smooth the fabric out so that there are no wrinkles underneath or on top. Pull the fabric tight, but don’t stretch it. Place the measuring tape at the top of the seam where the sleeve attaches to the body of the shirt and measure across to the same point on the other side of the shirt. Don’t worry if you measure beyond the side seam on the shirt, just measure the shirt flat across.
Length: Lay the shirt flat on the ground with the back of the shirt facing up. Place the measuring tape at the seam where the collar band attaches to the yoke (the fabric that sits across the shoulders) and measure straight down the middle of the back of the shirt to the hem at its longest point.
Sleeve Length: Lay the shirt flat with the back facing up. Extend the right sleeve out to the side and smooth it out as much as possible. Start the tape measure at the middle of the yoke, just below the collar band and measure out to the seam where the yoke attaches to the sleeve. Place a finger on the measuring tape at the seam where the yoke attaches to the sleeve to keep it in place, and then pull the tape measure taut to the end edge of the cuff on the sleeve.
Unit of measure: inches
🚀 Your order arrives between Dec 23 – Dec 30
Note: The design shown in this listing may appear slightly blurred due to web optimization, but rest assured that the final print will be created with a much sharper, high-resolution design. All shirts are printed on one side by default. If you would like a custom two-sided print, please contact us for a special order.
- Description
- The product is manufactured based on the buyer’s idea, and we are fully exempt from any responsibility regarding the idea and design of the product.
The Onion Americas Finest News Source Since 1988 Shirts
The cardboard box groaned under the weight of my “The Onion Americas Finest News Source Since 1988” shirts. Each fold, each graphic, a time capsule of my humor evolution. The “Area Man Too Busy To Mow Lawn, Too Lazy To Care” shirt – college, fueled by ramen and satire. The “Nation Elects President Who Promises To Do Absolutely Nothing” – a cynical post-grad phase.
I paused, holding up the “Study Finds Smashing Pumpkins Actually Just Mediocre” tee. That was a gift from Sarah, my first love, who understood my love for the absurd. A pang of bittersweet nostalgia hit. Where was she now?
Sighing, I packed it away. These weren’t just shirts; they were fabric-woven memories. This move felt less like a change of address and more like archiving a significant chapter of my life, one sardonic headline at a time.
EXPRESS DELIVERY
We have express delivery method, however to ensure accurate delivery time we only support customers who contact us before ordering. And if you have any questions please let us know by emailing us at [email protected]
T-SHIRT
- 100% Cotton
- Made in the USA and Imported
- Pull On closure
- Machine Wash
- Material – 100% cotton dad tshirts for men.
- Available Sizes: S, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL, 4XL.
The graphic print in our shirts are printed in the USA; with using fine quality fade resistant inks and latest printing techniques that ensure a long-lasting and vibrant finish. We include everyone! Please check our size chart image to find the best fit for you and your loved ones. Note: Design may look smaller in bigger sizes.
SWEATSHIRT
- 8 oz./yd² (US) 13.3 oz./L yd (CA), 50/50 cotton/polyester
- Heather Sport colors: 60/40 polyester/cotton
- Safety Green: Compliant with ANSI / ISEA 107
- Classic fit
- Air jet yarn for softer feel and reduced pilling
- Double-needle stitching at shoulders, armholes, neck, waistband and cuffs
- 1×1 rib with spandex for enhanced stretch and recovery
- Tear away label
WHY CHOOSE US?
We believe in making a t-shirt you actually want to wear. We do not sell cheap scratchy tees here. You’ll notice the quality right when you put it on.
Some more important facts about us:
- Our tees are high quality and made to fit right. They are slightly fitted so you don’t look like you’ve put a dress on
