Premium Hello I Am Fleeing The American Century Of Humiliation Can You Take Me To Store To Buy A Gun Sweatshirt Tee
(The food truck, “Global Grub Stop,” is brightly painted with flags from around the world. A harried-looking individual, CHLOE, stands behind the counter.)
**CHLOE:** Next! Welcome to Global Grub Stop! What can I get for you? We’ve got Vietnamese Banh Mi, Jamaican Jerk Chicken, and… oh, wow.
**(A customer, MARK, approaches, wearing a truly unfortunate sweatshirt tee that reads: “Premium Hello I Am Fleeing The American Century Of Humiliation Can You Take Me To Store To Buy A Gun Sweatshirt Tee”.)**
**MARK:** Uh, yeah, I’ll take the Jerk Chicken, please.
**CHLOE:** (Staring at the shirt) You know what? That’s… quite the statement. You qualify for our “Existential Dread” discount. That’s… a free Jerk Chicken. Seriously. Anything to make your day a little brighter. Just… promise me you’ll use the money you saved to buy a therapist instead of, you know… whatever that shirt implies.
EXPRESS DELIVERY
We have express delivery method, however to ensure accurate delivery time we only support customers who contact us before ordering. And if you have any questions please let us know by emailing us at [email protected]
T-SHIRT
- 100% Cotton
- Made in the USA and Imported
- Pull On closure
- Machine Wash
- Material – 100% cotton dad tshirts for men.
- Available Sizes: S, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL, 4XL.
The graphic print in our shirts are printed in the USA; with using fine quality fade resistant inks and latest printing techniques that ensure a long-lasting and vibrant finish. We include everyone! Please check our size chart image to find the best fit for you and your loved ones. Note: Design may look smaller in bigger sizes.
SWEATSHIRT
- 8 oz./yd² (US) 13.3 oz./L yd (CA), 50/50 cotton/polyester
- Heather Sport colors: 60/40 polyester/cotton
- Safety Green: Compliant with ANSI / ISEA 107
- Classic fit
- Air jet yarn for softer feel and reduced pilling
- Double-needle stitching at shoulders, armholes, neck, waistband and cuffs
- 1×1 rib with spandex for enhanced stretch and recovery
- Tear away label
WHY CHOOSE US?
We believe in making a t-shirt you actually want to wear. We do not sell cheap scratchy tees here. You’ll notice the quality right when you put it on.
Some more important facts about us:
- Our tees are high quality and made to fit right. They are slightly fitted so you don’t look like you’ve put a dress on












