You Cant Afford These Mustache Rides Shirts
“So, uh, nice shirt,” Dr. Miller said, adjusting the overhead light. “You Cant Afford These… Mustache Rides. Bold choice.”
I winced. “It’s… a joke shirt. My buddy made them.”
He chuckled, a little too heartily. “Right, a joke. So, flossing habits? Seeing any… facial hair growth down there?” He immediately recoiled. “I mean, any sensitivity?”
My face burned. “Just the usual. No new… mustaches.”
He cleared his throat, scraping around with the dental pick. “Good, good. We wouldn’t want any… unexpected expenses, would we?” He winked. It was horrifying.
I mumbled something about cavities, desperate for this to be over. This was definitely going to be the most awkward cleaning of my life.
EXPRESS DELIVERY
We have express delivery method, however to ensure accurate delivery time we only support customers who contact us before ordering. And if you have any questions please let us know by emailing us at [email protected]
T-SHIRT
- 100% Cotton
- Made in the USA and Imported
- Pull On closure
- Machine Wash
- Material – 100% cotton dad tshirts for men.
- Available Sizes: S, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL, 4XL.
The graphic print in our shirts are printed in the USA; with using fine quality fade resistant inks and latest printing techniques that ensure a long-lasting and vibrant finish. We include everyone! Please check our size chart image to find the best fit for you and your loved ones. Note: Design may look smaller in bigger sizes.
SWEATSHIRT
- 8 oz./yd² (US) 13.3 oz./L yd (CA), 50/50 cotton/polyester
- Heather Sport colors: 60/40 polyester/cotton
- Safety Green: Compliant with ANSI / ISEA 107
- Classic fit
- Air jet yarn for softer feel and reduced pilling
- Double-needle stitching at shoulders, armholes, neck, waistband and cuffs
- 1×1 rib with spandex for enhanced stretch and recovery
- Tear away label
WHY CHOOSE US?
We believe in making a t-shirt you actually want to wear. We do not sell cheap scratchy tees here. You’ll notice the quality right when you put it on.
Some more important facts about us:
- Our tees are high quality and made to fit right. They are slightly fitted so you don’t look like you’ve put a dress on












