Alright, babes, gather ’round! And IRS, if you’re listening, this whole thing is a figment of my imagination. Just like when I told my ex I liked his questionable fashion choices. 😉

Seriously though, are you as sick as I am of bikini prices these days? Like, are we funding space travel with these scraps of fabric? I see you scrolling through TikTok, whining (and rightfully so!) about dropping a small fortune on swimwear. Newsflash: it doesn’t have to be that way.

If you’re a self-proclaimed bikini addict, then it’s time to stage an intervention… with a sewing machine.

Why You Need to Become a Bikini-Making Badass

Let’s talk real numbers here. I’m selling these babies for $60 a pop, and raking in $4,000 *a week*. And the cost to make them? Less than $10. TEN. DOLLARS. (Insert mind-blown emoji here.)

Think about it: that’s more money for margs on the beach!

Here’s why you need to jump on this bandwagon:

Stop throwing money down the drain: Seriously, $200 for a bikini? I’d rather invest that in a lifetime supply of tacos.
Unleash your creativity: Design your own styles, pick your favorite fabrics, and create swimsuits that are totally YOU. No more cookie-cutter bikinis!
Start a seriously lucrative side hustle: $4,000 a week, people! That’s enough to pay off student loans, fund your dream vacation, or just buy a whole lotta cute shoes.
Join the DIY revolution: Let’s bring back the art of making our own clothes and tell those overpriced fast-fashion brands to take a hike.
Bragging rights: “Oh, this bikini? Yeah, I made it.” Mic drop.

From Zero to Bikini Hero: It’s Easier Than You Think!

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “But Pastor MySamwich, I can barely sew a button!” Don’t sweat it! I’m here to tell you that if *I* can do it, *anyone* can. Seriously, my best friend is learning, and she once tried to microwave a fork. If she can do this, you are golden.

I’m practically begging you to learn! I’m trying to lead Amanda Fish (you know, give her the tools for success), but the horse won’t drink the water!

Here’s the deal: I’m not about gatekeeping. I share all my tips and tricks right here on my page. I show you exactly how to make these swimsuits, from cutting the fabric to sewing the seams.

Think of it as a bikini trap house summer! Tag your bestie, grab a sewing machine, and get ready to turn your living rooms into bikini-making factories. We’re taking back the swimwear industry, one stitch at a time!

Why Now? Let’s Talk About the Bikini Tax

I honestly don’t know when the art of sewing died, and we decided to outsource all of our clothing making to other countries. But that time is OVER.

Seriously, the prices they’re charging for swimsuits is astronomical! And even though I made four grand in a week, I’m not paying $200 for a bikini. I’m wearing my own creation, and feeling like a total boss babe while doing it.

This isn’t just about saving money; it’s about taking control. It’s about saying “I can do this!” And honestly, it’s kind of addictive. Once you make your first bikini, you’ll be hooked.

Need some fashion inspo? Check out these articles on design style to get your creative juices flowing. Or maybe you need some humor in your life before embarking on this new adventure, we have you covered humor-meme.

So, Are You In?

Look, I’m not saying you have to quit your day job and become a full-time bikini maker (unless you want to, of course!). But learning to sew your own swimsuits is a skill that will save you money, unleash your creativity, and maybe even launch a killer side hustle.

So, ditch the $200 bikini, dust off that old sewing machine, and let’s get to work! I’m here to cheer you on every step of the way. And who knows, maybe one day you’ll be teaching *me* a thing or two. Now go forth and conquer, bikini-making warriors!

video

If the IRS is watching,everything I’m about to say is a complete lie and fabrication.And so was every time I ever told my ex that I loved him.If you’re addicted to bikinis,you need to buy the sewing Shein and start sewing them yourself.You guys just pay me $4,000 in a week to make these swimsuits for you,and I’m only selling them for $60.I see so many videos of girls complaining about the cost of swimsuits.None of these bikinis in this video cost me more than $10 to make.You need to tag your best friend in this video,and both of you need to go have these on on a sewing machineand turn your houses into bikini trap houses this summer.I don’t gate keep. This is an amazing side hustle.$4,000 in a week is absolutely crazy.You need to teach yourself how to sew these.And on my page, I show you exactly how to do it.I’m trying to lead Amanda Fish,but the horse won’t drink the water.You guys, maybe this video will convince a few of you,because I’m an idiot, and I made all these.My best friend is also an idiot,and I’m teaching her how to make all these.I’m not sure when the art of sewing diedand we decided to outsource all of our clothing makingto other countries. But that time is overbecause the prices that they’re charging For swimsuits is astronomical.And even though I made four grand in a week,I’m not paying $200 for a bikini.